The stupid fracking mittens are DONE!!! :)
And with a week to spare. :)
Honestly, I was an idiot for trying to do them in seed stitch and with a cable. As several people said, my brother wouldn't really care whether or not they had a cable or not -- he just wanted them for warmth. Personally, I think they look darn snazzy without the cable.
Okay, now the hard part -- what to knit next? :)